


Can your bard keep a secret?

by Lazypersona



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Actually any character thats not Jaskier only appears like 2 seconds, Assassin! Jaskier, Assassination, BAMF Jaskier, Geralt appears like 2 seconds, He is not what he seems, I only made the OC to kill him lol, In this bards are spies and assassins, M/M, Minor Character Death, Much like dragon age, They are in love just......not yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22415548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazypersona/pseuds/Lazypersona
Summary: The white wolf, Geralt of Rivia is the most famous witcher of all time, all thanks to a certain bard and his extremely catchy songs, but if I told you that this happy and charismatic young man's hands are not so clean.Would you believe it?It seems that monsters are bound together by destiny.----------In which Jaskier is a bard......but a dragon age bard.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 13
Kudos: 408





	Can your bard keep a secret?

**Author's Note:**

> OMG this is my first fanfic ever and Im so exited to share it, this is legit an idea I had at like 3 am and couldn't get it out of my head until i wrote it so enjoy it, but first some IMPORTANT NOTES
> 
> I fell obliged to say that english is not my first language so forgive me if i make some mistakes (Im still learning) also i would very much appreciate your comments as this is my first contribution to any fandom I'll love to hear what you think of it.  
> And....that all I had to say so, enjoy it :)

_And now witcher, its time to repay your debt "What debt?" You're probably asking yourself in your head right now, well i'll tell you, i've made you famous witcher. By rights i should be claiming ten percent of all your coin, but instead what i'm asking for is a teeny, teeny-weeny little favor._

_Fuck off, bard._

_For one measly night of service you will gain a cornucopia of earthy delights. The greatest masters of the culinary arts crafting morsels worthy of the gods. Maidens that would make the sun itself blush with a single comely smile. And rivers of the sweetest of drinks from the rarest of-- Fuck! Food, women and wine, Geralt!_

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The party was everything Jaskier expected and even more, all the food you could wish for, music happy enough to celebrate the occasion and of course his favorite part: the people, nobles from all the great cities of the nation made the horizon a sea full of colors representing each one of them, it was impressive of course but it was a common sight for the bard, so common now that to pass the time he preferred to observe them. People like jaskier lived of secrets, if there was a nobleman willing to pay to know if someone was trying to kill him then there would be a bard willing to discover it and if on the contrary the objective was to kill someone, a bard would do it too.... for the right price.

The songs were part of the job, but even if it hurt jaskier to admit it, they were just a mean to get close to the nobility without raising any suspicions and it worked, after all who would suspect of someone like him? Hell, he even managed to make the great geralt of rivia to think that he was just a bard, he was, but he was also skilled enough to kill a man without him noticing until it was too late and although jaskier loves to create ballads with the adventures of the white wolf, following him around prevented him from accepting any jobs.....until today of course, he would be a fool not to take the opportunity to get some material from the royalty of cintra itself so he just stood there and watched.

Princess Pavetta is restless as no other day, she is not happy that her mother was going to choose her future husband, she seems ready to run away at any time....oh the poor girl's heart belongs to someone who is not here and she just wants to go to him, this story would be worthy of a ballad, pity that it is not possible to do it without the queen sending to cut the head of anyone who tries.

Talking about her, nobody can forget Queen Calanthe, the lioness of Cintra has as many secrets as years of life and that's why it was impressive how she had avoided the filtration of them for so many years, most probably all those who ever tried to do it ended up in a hole somewhere, his death must be epic, worthy of a ballad itself something like..... die in battle or sacrifice himself for the love of his life, not in a place in the middle of nowhere where his poor body is at the mercy of necrophages

That's why he preferred to get as far away from Calanthe's path as possible, anyway he was not there for her but for Albert Sienicki, a nobleman from Skellige with a very nice house, two children, a dog and a vast number of lovers only surpassed by the number of illegitimate children ....oh and you can't forget his wife, a very beautiful woman who became a very angry one after jaskier revealed her husband's secrets the poor thing hired him on the spot to finish him off, it was something unexpected but he wouldn't complain, money is money after all.

"Ah, it's like coming home" it was really comforting, even though he loved going with Geralt everywhere, camping was not his favorite activity, just the thought of sleeping on the wet floor in a place in the middle of nowhere surrounded by monsters made him almost want to stay here.....almost.

"Come on, Geralt, don't look at me like that. I know you don't like nobility, but that's what the tables are for. You can eat and drink as much as you want while I charm all Cintra with my songs."

To have brought the white wolf to the party was an achievement that jaskier would boast about later but it wasn't that difficult, the bard is many things but not a fool, for him it was impossible not to notice the looks that the witcher gave him when he thought he wasn't looking, his mistake because jaskier is always looking, the bard's job included great observation skills after all, besides someone who is not interested would let him smear chamomile on his lovely bottom? I don't think so.

All the bard needed was to mention the possible angry spouses with the respective danger they presented to him and bam... now the witcher is at a royal party, that's another thing that would be worthy of a song

A "Hmm" was the only answer jaskier received from the witcher but he didn't expect anything else, geralt was a man of few words but with the time that they have traveled together jaskier could already identify what kind of Hmm it was and this particular one was one that said "Maybe I will"

"Bard! Music!" Calanthe's unique voice resounded across the big room calling the attention of everyone there and jaskier couldn't contain his smile

"Time to work, see you in a while my dear witcher" jaskier did not stay long enough to get an answer but this was probably another Hmm so characteristic of geralt, instead he walked elegantly to the center of the room, a place where everyone could see him (and he could see everyone) and then bowed to Calanthe and without wasting any more time he started to sing the popular songs of the moment while dancing all over the space he had, both for the show and for finding his target in the crowd.

It did not take him long to find him, the description of the wife and the portraits in his house were quite faithful, a tall man of at least fifty with a large red beard who was beginning to show grey hairs but it made no less attractive, jaskier smiled, now the real work could begin.

Every bard has a different way of doing this and jaskier is no exception, his method is subtle but effective, quick looks, small smiles, passing more frequently in front of him, just enough to make him feel special but not enough for other guests to notice.

When jaskier played his last song (Toss a coin to your witcher of course) he knew that he had made it, in a short time the nobleman would come to talk to him but for that to happen he had to get out of there at once, so that's what he did, after another bow to Cintra's royalty he returned to the crowd and after taking a jar of ale from one of the waitresses the only thing left for him to do was to wait.

He didn't have to wait long when Jaskier heard a voice behind him saying "Hey Bard", he knew exactly who he was but still worked on his surprised face and turned around to meet his target face to face.

"Wow! To what do I owe your presence, good sir?"

"Don't play innocent bard, did you think I wouldn't notice everything you did there?" The nobleman slowly approached Jaskier perhaps with the aim of intimidating, but he knew exactly how to deal with guys like these.

"you may require my services in a more... private setting?" Time to use his charms, the bard stared at the nobleman with the most adorable expression he could do, knowing that this would make the nobleman fall for him and without giving him time to answer the continued "if so, tell me good sir and I will make sure to give you a show you will not forget" saying this jaskier turn walking away from him and towards the great door that led to the rest of the castle, It was not necessary to turn around to know that the nobleman was following him, this job would be too easy, but there was not much the bard could do to change that, sometimes the nobles were too desperate that they did not stop to think about who they were sleeping with and well jaskier just had to take advantage of that.

It was quite common for royal castles to be built in the same way and for someone who had been in every castle imaginable to find the room area along with an empty one in which to carry out his plan was no difficult, with the advantage that all the guests present were in the main hall probably too drunk to realize that the bard was gone, so he would take advantage of the occasion and take his time.

As soon as he entered the room jaskier was pushed against the wall, he was expecting something like this but not so soon or so abruptly.....the man was really desperate.

"My my, we're a little impatient, don't you think? But that's okay, why don't you tell me what you want? I'll be more than happy to comply " saying that kind of thing with someone you don't care about at all is not nice, but the guy will be dead in less than 10 minutes so it didn't matter

"You sounded pretty good out there, why don't you sing for me?" the nobleman said as he began to attack jaskier's neck with kisses and bites that with a little luck will not be strong enough to leave a mark.

"Then make me " it was time to complete the job. Taking advantage that the poor guy was too busy with his neck, jaskier slid his hand to his own waist where his favorite dagger was and making a movement that at first sight would pass as a simple hug he placed both hands with the dagger included in the back of his neck and after a quick wrist movement.....slash

That was the only sound heard throughout the room before the body of the nobleman fell to the floor shaking heavily in pain as his eyes stared insistently at jaskier, unable to believe what had just happened.

"Let me guess, you're wondering if the cute and talented bard you were going to sleep with really cut your throat? The answer is yes, you should have thought better before you cheated on your wife or at least hid it better."

Jaskier knelt in front of the dying nobleman only to wipe his dagger on his clothes, he did not plan on finishing him off, he would inevitably die so better to take this time to ensure that a certain witcher did not discovered that he had just killed someone.

After making certain that all his possessions were clean and free of blood, jaskier took one of the hands of the now dead nobleman and found a ring quite adorned with various precious stones

"You did all that wearing your wedding ring? Ugh, now I understand why your wife was so upset."

He took the ring and after carefully putting it in one of his pockets he left the room without taking care of locking the door, by the time someone discovered the body neither he nor Geralt would be around to be blamed.

When returning to the main hall what he least expected was arriving to a destroyed room, princess pavetta next to a soldier that jaskier was sure was not at the party before, Calanthe looking at geralt as if he was the one who killed her husband and geralt......with the biggest surprised expression that jaskier had ever seen on him and that is saying a lot considering how expressive the witcher is. He probably would have started laughing about it if it wasn't for the fact that the witcher quickly left the room leaving everyone behind including him.

"Geralt, geralt? Where are you going? Geralt!? The bard practically ran after him, he had no idea what had happened in the time he was away but it sounded important the kind of important that was again worthy of a song so he had to convince Geralt to tell him, as well as convince him to go back to the last town they visited, he had a ring to give and a reward to collect.


End file.
